©2019 by The Unbound Self | Jules De Vitto

 Unit 28786, PO Box 6945, London, W1A 6US

The Stories we Tell Ourselves

We are dominated by everything with which our self becomes identified. We can dominate and control everything from which we dis-identify ourselves (Assagioli, 2000).


Our Stories


We are deeply identified with our personal stories. These stories define who we are, our relationship to others and our very place in the world. How much are you identified with the stories that you tell yourself - of who you are and how you came to be the person you are today? Are you holding onto stories of the past that no longer hold true for you?

These stories comprise of what happened to us in the past and our childhood wounds that we have held onto since we were small. There are narratives of how we are treated by others and which often include us being a victim to the world around us. Then there are the scripts which tell us the specific roles that we play in our families, in our work and within our wider society and culture.

Our stories are important because they give us meaning and a way to make sense and navigate the world around us. However, when we hold onto the stories of our past - the ones that may no longer serve us - they continue to define who we are. They influence who we are in the present and impact the direction that our life is headed.

We are not our Stories


When these stories become so ingrained in us, it is difficult for us to change them or to recognize that

they are simply stories and not who we really at the core of ourselves.When we slip into the awareness of this truth – that we are not our stories - but we are the narrator of our stories, then we can begin to create space between our true Self and the self that is being constructed by these stories.

We begin to recognize that our stories have not been written for us, but they are written by us in each and every moment. We have the ability to re-write the narrative of our lives each day – choosing to define the characters and the story line that is to come next.

Having the awareness that we are much more than our stories and that we have the capacity to choose the script of our lives, is important so that we can operate from our core Self. When we do this we are less likely to get stuck in the unhealthy habits and behaviors of the past.

How do we cultivate the awareness that we are not our stories?

Firstly, it is important to have enough awareness to create some distance between our conditioned self and our core Self. We can do this through meditation. When we meditate and become the awareness behind the stories and the identity that we live by- we realize that we are so much more than these things.

We can also bring some awareness to how we present ourselves to the world, and what we tell others about our past, how we relate to others or who we are as a person. Do we keep telling others that we can’t do something? Or are there limiting beliefs such as - people don’t care about me, I can’t possibly be successful or I won't ever be able to achieve my dream career? Check what stories you are repeating to yourself.


Sometimes we continue to tell others the same story because we are so use to that narrative. Even when

a certain way of being has shifted, we are often still stuck in the old script! Earlier this week, I realized

that I had been doing exactly this. I had a story

about my current life that seemed to place myself

in a passive role to events around me. This story was entirely different from the awareness that was stemming from my core Self - that I am living my life with a clear sense of purpose and direction - but this wasn’t the story I was presenting to myself and the world because I was still stuck in an old script.


Ask yourself, are the stories that you are telling others in alignment with the person you are now in the present? Or, are they something you are holding onto from the past? Also, do the stories reflect where you want to go in the future? If we start to shift these narratives then we also have the ability to choose and navigate our future in a direction that is stemming from our core purpose. Remember we are not our stories and they are not written for us, but we have the ability to re-write these stories each day.

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